Saturday, December 26, 2009

:::Lust and Emotions:::

This Christmas brought out my multiple phases of LOVE. I found that often LUST can rear it's ugly head and cause you to feel "love". It can take over your heart and make you believe your in ACTUALLY in LOVE...I MYSELF AM CURRENTLY IN A love-lust TRIANGLE. I have been friends with some one for about 8 yrs and the last 3yrs we have had a sexual connection. I thought I was in LOVE with him, but quickly realized it was LUST. He is the sweetest guy but sometimes in all our emotions I feel WE BOTH get caught up in the convenience of each others company and we for A SPLIT SECOND make ourselves believe it's more than a casual friendship; that from time to time turns sexual. While I also have been chasing MR.WRONG for a year. Finally I give it up and him up and he finds a way to rear his ugly head into my life. I really dug him and I found myself to be obsessed with him, so I held back and he noticed. When I held back ...I KEPT BEING REMINDED OF HIM THROUGH "SIGNS". I kept seeing his name and hearing his music..finally when I finally cut the rope...I see him at a popular night club, as I'm checking my coat. He walks in and we exchange glances..I see him starring me down but I ignore it. Now I'm at the is he, since we're opposite sides I can see him starring at me. After I get my drink I bump into him and he makes small talk but I keep it short and he follows me to my designated area and tries to dance with me. All the while I'm thinking this is the most attention you've given me all month and I don't want it. So after a love toggle he realizes that I'm not on him and instead of WALKING AWAY, he pulls up to the JUNGLE BOOTY BITCH right next to me and starts feeling her up. Shes in a damn skintight catsuit and dirty dancing all over the floor, and after that every girl that was in my sight got a dance or his number. He chased me all over the club attempting to dance next to me each time....I hate that I love/lust him because, he is truly an ASSHOLE. While I have and older more accomplished guy I've been courting that meets all my needs and wants, but there is one thing....HIS BREATHE STINKS....idk I need help...until next time peace&love -ASHFUFU