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Sunday, February 22, 2009

BITTERSWEET....


So how does one feel when you find yourself coming of adequate age, and you've never experienced a LONG TERM relationship??...Well I myself am feeling kinda BITTERSWEET! I'm newly 21 but I feel as if something is missing!, I feel FABULOUS most of the time, my daughter is WONDERFUL, and LIFE is great!! But I just cant seem to get it together with my LOVE LIFE..or lack of love life. I often wonder WHY??....like what is it that I DON'T HAVE?? I mean what screams short term? I listen to love ballads and I can often relate but I never get the FLASHING LIGHTS!! I always get the bullshit..never have I had someone who was really into me, where they just could'nt live without me. I always have a sexual vibe but never a mental connection, great sex but it never GOES any further..what the hell. I'm not looking for perfect I just want something real..I dnt kno, maybe RELATIONSHIPS, are not for everybody..hmmm I wonder will I grow older and lonelier, living my life vicariously through my daughter Taylor..hmmmm I wonder.........

2 comments:

miss k. said...

Is this not what we talk about ALL the time. I think the same way. I always say what is it about me that guys look at and just think about sex and nothing else? I'm so sick of it!

*Sweetest Taboo* said...

Hey Ash...it's Sonji..and I'm in love with your blog!

But anyway, I just look at it like this: At least you have the strength to realize that having the physical with no mental connection isn't cool...a lot of girls out here don't realize that, or don't want to admit it. They settle for just physical attention, when really we're worth so much more...People tend to say forget it, and settle into that role of someone's sex partner/cutty buddy/whatever other bogus title people give it lol... but why settle for being the object of someone's lust, when you can be loved AND lusted for by one great guy??? He may take longer to find you, but it's all worth it in the end!